chsdbacks Page 49
Page 49
Having endured the snow of Northern Europe for so many years, I've finally developed a bit of cold resistance. I've finally managed to wipe away my frozen tears and deceive myself into believing I can endure it, deceiving myself that there is no warmth in this world that belongs to me. Because there is none, I must walk alone like this.
Then I encountered warmth, silent and unspoken care, and a small home where I could stay for a while. All of this was enough to shatter the deception I had given myself.
So now, a heart that has lost its resilience to the cold, a heart that has already experienced loneliness that is not of its own...
How could they possibly endure the wind and snow any longer?
Will not.
No—you can tell just by looking at Kiana's expression right now.
She bit her lip as if she were dying, and in her clear, pure eyes, like the blue sky and sea, a light drizzle was falling... Even so, she desperately tried to open her eyes wide, trying to hold back her tears.
Yes.
Kiana will not allow Jiang Cheng to leave.
Because they are now her new family.
Because of our relationship as friends and family, we cannot allow ourselves to lose it, and we cannot allow it to be taken away again.
An empty heart cannot, and almost never can, accept losing everything twice and becoming hollow—that would absolutely plunge one into a state far more miserable than death.
Absolutely.
Definitely.
Watching those tears fall like threads, yet still using sobbing, irritability, and fierceness to mask the fragility within, eyes as fragile as glass, easily shattered with a gentle tap, eyes that are tough yet fragile.
Raiden Mei's pupils trembled slightly, and she couldn't help but ask a question in return.
So……
And me?
……
……
……
Walking on the main road leading out of the city, the boy gently stroked the Jizo Statue at his waist with his fingertips. He did not use his ability to invade the surrounding aura to leave quickly, but simply used the physical qualities of a stigma holder to move forward slowly in the most foolish way.
Gazing at the surrounding scenery, her eyes took one last look at the traces of the places she had walked with Raiden Mei, Kiana, and Bronya.
That was proof that he had lived with three girls, and he was also a time traveler from the future who came to this world.
Making friends for the first time.
It's about to end.
Life in Changkong City.
This peaceful and happy life.
Actually, interacting with the opposite sex isn't that difficult or scary. It's just like being with ordinary friends. Even when you're about to part ways, you might feel a pang of sadness and reluctance, just like not wanting to leave your friends.
And so I'm leaving—leaving the room where I've lived for quite some time, leaving Kiana and Mei, whom I've gradually come to know and become accustomed to being disturbed in my life.
Even if there's a sudden knock on the door, and a white-haired, blue-eyed Scandinavian lady suddenly appears in the early morning, dragging him to play games or into her room to see the surprises he's prepared and the interesting things he discovers, without any sense of boundaries.
Even when walking in the living room, a beautiful girl with long, straight black hair would ask in a gentle tone if she wanted some soup, and then she would use various methods and reasons to spend more time with him, just so he could look at her a few more times.
Even if nine times out of ten, there would be a silver-haired loli waiting in his room, calling him by the forbidden title of "master"—he wouldn't find it strange anymore.
Because I'm used to it.
Because we're familiar with it.
Because without realizing it, I have already accepted all of this.
Those fantasies... even the beautiful dreams that we can't even dream of have become something that can be called daily life, something that can be etched into our habits.
Humans are always quick to recognize and become familiar with others, sometimes without even realizing that they consider others friends or that something has become a necessity in their lives. They are simply subconsciously accustomed to every day in which these people are involved, yet they are overly sensitive to separation.
It's like a toothache; it hurts when you touch it, and it hurts even when you don't touch it. It can hurt whether you're lying down, sleeping, or standing. And you can't even pull it out because it hurts your internal organs as well.
There are so many nerve endings involved; it feels like even the slightest touch would make my brain tremble, turn into a soft, mushy mass, and boil into juice inside my head.
never mind.
There won't be any more.
Even if he sees Mei again in the future, it will probably be after the Honkai ends, when the girl is no longer sad or frantic, but simply quietly unties her hair tie, lets her long hair down, and, with gentle elegance and a bright smile, says to him—"Long time no see, Jiang Cheng, my name is Raiden Mei..."
Just as even if you have the chance to see Kiana again in the future, you will never see that person who always laughs so carefree and pats you on the shoulder, or occasionally pats your butt and whispers, "We're friends."
The quiet firefly of the future, and even the confident one... will never regain her confidence in the end, nor will she be the energetic and adorable person she is now.
Bye now.
All of the starter Pokémon.
……
……
……
My pace quickened, changing from walking to running, and I could vaguely see the edge of the city, a place where the hustle and bustle had faded away.
You were clearly very sad, so why did you leave?
A faint reddish halo appeared on the hilt of the knife.
It seemed to be adding to the silent words, demonstrating that they were not hallucinations or illusions, but the words of the Law of Corruption.
The weapon's owner spoke for the first time.
To resolve my doubts.
He didn't appear in the outside world using any incarnation or similar means, nor did he manipulate any other matter to form a temporary body. Even so, the boy could still sense that something was watching him.
"I would only truly grieve if I stayed; I would choose between short-term pain and long-term pain."
【why? 】
—Erosion is incomprehensible.
"Because I'm just an ordinary person, someone who sleeps in late, stays in bed too long, and is lazy in all sorts of little things."
Jiang Cheng knew he had a problem from the beginning. When the girl had shown sadness before, his comfort was pale and powerless because he knew the real solution but was unwilling to say it.
The reason why he didn't want to have any close contact with Raiden Mei was probably not only because he didn't believe that she could be chosen, thought it was a suspension bridge reaction, and wanted to leave the plot, but also because he was being treated wholeheartedly by the girl while he was thinking about running away all day long—a kind of inferiority complex from the bottom of his heart.
The problem is that he doesn't want to, but he really does want to, say things like "I'm the protagonist, I'm going to save everything."
May I?
Can?
With this ordinary and unremarkable body, it is impossible for me to regard pain as an inevitable stepping stone or hardship as a training ground, just like those real heroes or protagonists.
Even the pain of Honkai energy erosion he experienced on the first day he transmigrated here still makes him shudder.
He believed that if he had to go through it again, he would definitely not have the willpower to live and would definitely die.
There's no such thing as being able to endure more suffering; the only thing is that once you become aware of the suffering you're about to endure, you become even more fearful and terrified.
Just like steel, continuous bending leads to metal fatigue and eventual breakage; not everything has perfect elasticity.
This was an inevitable outcome.
There is no alloy whatsoever.
No matter what technology is used, it cannot be solved.
Even the strongest steel will eventually suffer from metal fatigue and become completely rotten and unusable as it continues to bend to the left and right.
Something called the heart is less resilient than steel and more prone to complete breakdown.
and so--
No.
Absolutely not.
"My story doesn't belong here, and rather than wasting time here, leaving Changkong City and them will allow me to fulfill our promise to each other much faster."
The sound of erosion was so calm for the first time—
I will watch you change.
There's no need to deny it.
Because emotions can be perceived.
Even with the help of the Eightfold and the assistance of the Stigmata, which prevents the Herrscher of Corruption from invading her memories (which have been turned into weapons), this authority to serve as the last Herrscher besides the End is truly powerful.
Jiang Cheng knew better than anyone else in the world that his own emotions were suspicious.
So all you need to do is move forward.
The gray snake was already beginning to take shape.
It was right on the edge of Changkong City, at the end where the bustling commercial district intersected with the woodland.
He would never regret his actions, and he would stick to his decisions no matter what he faced—such boasts were impossible for anyone to make, so the only thing Jiang Cheng could guarantee was that he would never be convinced by himself.
……
……
……
—And me?
Listening to Kiana's sobbing.
Gazing into those beautiful eyes filled with tears.
He clearly didn't believe it.
In reality, her body—Kiana Kaslana's—was already obediently prepared to bear the grief.
Her eyes were red-rimmed, and glistening tears streamed down her slightly reddened, no longer fair, and youthful face, as if the ocean in her pupils had not yet been completely drained.
That tearful, pear-blossom-like appearance would surely touch even the most hard-hearted person in the world.
If Kiana, who only intervened in my and Jiangcheng's lives midway, had such awareness and such willpower.
I……
This was the first person to come into contact with Jiangcheng.
What is beating in my heart right now?
Sad?
Are you dissatisfied?
But this thing called the heart is clearly still beating, clearly flowing all the time, not the deathly silence and despair that seems to have sunk to the bottom of the sea.
Or is it that there is still resentment?
Like Kiana, she still can't accept all of this.
Even after being told in the most straightforward way by the boy that the essence of this feeling was just a suspension bridge reaction, that the person named Raiden Mei never met the basic requirements of romantic love, and that normal love is never established without any understanding, what beat in her heart was still resentment, and what flowed in her blood was still full of bitter dissatisfaction.
And still.
still……
I still don't want it to end like this, I don't want to separate like this, I don't want to return to the cold darkness where I am all alone.
Just thinking about it makes me afraid, just thinking about it makes me terrified, just thinking about it makes me unable to stop myself from... unable to lift my head, unable to straighten my body.
"Why would Jiangcheng, a place that was so peaceful and stable, leave?!"
"Raiden Mei!"
……
……
……
In Kiana's first instance of dissatisfaction that wasn't directed at her, in those beautiful eyes that were already blurred, filled with so many tears that even the world seemed to be enveloped in a strange halo, the girl who had been squatting and trembling as if she had lost her soul raised her head, and then stood up once again.