chsdbacks Page 98
Page 98
The summer breeze was wild and unrestrained, but the rich fragrance of flowers it carried could not penetrate the heavy gates of the base.
"Because we're all insecure." His voice sounded like he was burying his head under the covers.
“You think I’ve been helping you all along, but in my eyes, it’s already a dream that I can stand with you.”
"In my eyes, this medication is my duty to receive your love, but you think it's because of your problems that I've ended up in this situation."
The boy's expression was beyond description; all Mei could see at that moment was sadness.
In those eyes, clear and bright like thunder, was reflected a face tinged with exhaustion, weakness, and pain.
"I really think this is already incredible. For an ordinary person like me, a loser like me, let alone being loved, it would be a miracle if I didn't end up with someone who just wants my money or someone who is full of lies... Although, as useless as me, no one would even look at me, not even scammers."
……
Ahhh...
Please stop.
Just hearing Jiang Cheng's self-deprecating words was enough to make my heart feel like it was going to break.
I was the one who delayed you.
I was just...
Self-pity only prolongs the cycle. Like a spiral, it slides on, and the self-deprecation of those who are always superior, more important, and nobler than oneself only pushes those who consider themselves inferior further and further down the social ladder, constantly being trampled and crushed underfoot.
Perhaps the girl's idea wasn't wrong at all; strictly speaking, it wasn't, perhaps it really wasn't wrong at all.
The boy's inner thoughts were completely guessed, whether it was his initial attempt to escape or his choice to push Kiana towards him.
The future, escape, including the fact that he had the opportunity to leave it all behind.
But only at this moment.
Only this seemingly unremarkable moment.
Jiang Cheng's words held no profound meaning, contained no hidden depths, and any attempt at interpretation was futile and superfluous at this moment.
"I am indeed incompetent."
"I am just an ordinary, average person."
This is by no means a self-denial like that of a young girl—the most elite swordsman was bullied to the point of self-loathing.
Even after losing her family business, Raiden Mei still possesses the talent to become a top-tier Valkyrie and the combat power to stand at the pinnacle.
Even if all these surreal elements were removed, and only considering what exists in reality, as a born swordswoman, she would still become a superior person no matter what.
So what if we bear the infamy?
So what if my family is destroyed and my loved ones are killed?
Even without the ability to become a top scholar, Raiden Mei has never been an ordinary person.
The girl truly radiated something special and exceptional from head to toe, down to every single strand of her hair, her fingertips, and her toes. Even with a slightly stricter eye, and without requiring anyone to be a time traveler or to know the terrifying talent and inner strength hidden within the great achievements she would one day accomplish, one could still perceive this special essence from everything she showed.
What about him?
What about Jiangcheng?
This creature has no Honkai energy resistance, no intelligence, no talent, no combat power, and no genius.
Even his love and hate are not extreme; from the beginning, he could not completely like Mei, nor did he dislike Mei.
If you like to go a little further, you won't prepare a path back to the original storyline, nor will you try to maintain the integrity of the story. Instead, you will accept the confession without hesitation at the first moment, filled with either the confidence that you can permanently solidify the suspension bridge reaction, or out of love, even if you know you can't do it, you will try your best.
If he dislikes someone even more, he won't accept their confession. No matter how many times he's confessed to, he'll choose to reject them and try his best to find a way to break the filter that Mei has in her heart. After all, it's always the easiest thing in the world to make someone hate you, and Jiang Cheng isn't really a genius.
But it's stuck here, neither going up nor down.
—Like countless ordinary people.
"Even if I feel inferior, I should be the one feeling inferior."
"I'm a genuine piece of trash, nothing special, and so boring that just sitting here would make anyone feel bored."
……
……
……
She's too gentle.
Jiangcheng.
The sorrowful girl looked at the boy who considered himself ordinary, average, and inferior.
why?
Why be so gentle to someone like me?
They are unwilling to even take advantage of others, and their verbal attempts to extract value are limited to the point of trying to avoid harming themselves.
Saying you're incompetent, saying you're ordinary, saying you're lucky to have met me... these are things only I should say.
If things had continued as they were when I was sitting by the pool, I probably wouldn't have been able to bear it for more than a few days and would have wanted to commit suicide.
Or it might trigger a major breakdown when one is completely passive and unable to coordinate and merge with their other self, without any firm inner resolve...
Don't dare to think about it.
I don't even dare to think about how miserable I would be.
Even knowing that the ending would be one of shared happiness, I dare not imagine it at all.
Even after being informed in advance, being mentally prepared, and witnessing Jiang Cheng's injury firsthand, and coordinating with another version of himself to actively trigger the Great Collapse, he couldn't help but tremble after sensing the destruction of Changkong City—there was no need to imagine what that version of himself, who had nothing left, would look like.
What about the future?
"So what if it is?"
"Without Jiang Cheng's perspective, I couldn't see those different futures at all. All I could feel was you standing in front of me."
"The only thing I've overdrawn, the only thing I can think of myself, is that I'm hurting you. I've dragged you into hell."
She could only see what was in front of her; her deep purple eyes could only see the boy standing in front of her at this moment—the corners of his eyes where she had just wiped away his tears, his steady lips, his ordinary face—his pupils, which seemed to reflect the light and shimmered like a mirror, reflecting her own face, unique to her and only visible to her at this moment.
“I don’t understand what you’re saying at all. I don’t have your eyes, but everything about Jiangcheng is special to me.”
"Besides, you could have left long ago. You didn't have to carry all this burden... I only need to know this much."
She blinked slightly. "Isn't that right?"
……
……
……
What else can I say?
Won't I get shot down again?
Jiang Cheng truly felt like his brain wasn't working properly—he couldn't think clearly at all when he spoke, and Mei completely overwhelmed him by grasping the key points.
Yes.
She couldn't see those things.
She didn't care about those things.
She had said this since that confession; she no longer had the ability to write a second essay.
As far as the eye could see, Raiden Mei was still in the same pose, her soft hair flowing naturally in the shadows, and fragments of lightning scattered in the air, like stardust falling leisurely.
Thinking about it carefully, how is there any difference between what the girl is saying now and what she said back then? Now she is saying that this is the only experience she is going through right now, just like when she said that there would never be another version of herself and that she would never fall in love with another person... Isn't that exactly the same?
……
"In short, there's no need to bring this up anymore. These things can only be worked out gradually over a long period of time. Although it seems that what we're both afraid of is that as time goes on, we'll end up hating each other—because our true selves will be revealed and discovered in our daily lives. The guarantee I can offer is that I will never take the initiative to break up."
Ordinary people and geniuses are born different. (VII) (IX) 5.
It's like different species having to live together.
In real life, when highly intelligent people and lowly intelligent people are together, the highly intelligent people will either be annoyed to death or be assimilated by the lowly intelligent people.
It's important to know that many people in this world have such a strong aversion to stupidity that they can't stand children. They get so angry at how stupid children are when they chat with them occasionally.
One thing he had to admit was that, after reorganizing his thoughts, Jiang Cheng realized that he had always been passively pushed around and hadn't found something he absolutely had to do, just like when he first transmigrated, he had to become stronger and achieve certain goals in order to survive.
So talking about this kind of thing is pointless—in this day and age when even the meaning hasn't been found.
Raiden Mei tried to open her lips, but he stopped her immediately.
"—Let me explain first."
I wonder what emotions are swirling in those exquisitely shaped eyes that have regained their senses. They appear calm and serene, devoid of any sparkle or light; what feelings are hidden within those deep purple pupils, as always? These are all things I don't need to ponder. The only thing to do is to clasp my hands together and solemnly declare—
"The medicine is necessary. I have to put in 120% effort to fight Otto. He has to die. There's no point in getting the conversation off to each other apologizing."
“If we must discuss this matter, we should wait until Otto is dead, and then we’ll take a whip and give it to whoever makes a mistake.”
……
……
……
Can I help you with this? — These words were swallowed back before they could be uttered.
It's not that I feel ashamed, nor that I don't want to do it, nor that I'm worried. Rather, in my current state of feeling deeply guilty, being able to persist in my punishment is actually a good thing that can vent my despair—at least it can prove that Raiden Mei's existence is not just a trap to drag Jiang Cheng into the quagmire.
It's fine if the existence of such a thing as "陾~令午林.咎轳揪算" is meaningless.
It's always somewhat useful...
Right?
Otherwise, Jiang Cheng, who is too gentle and unwilling to even be used, would only make her feel like she couldn't breathe.
Jiang Cheng was currently discussing serious matters, so she didn't want to interrupt his preparations. That's why she swallowed her saliva, bit her lip earnestly, and stared intently at his calm, cherry-colored eyes with an almost obsessive focus.
Listen to what he has to say—
"I'm conflicted, and I feel very insecure."
"It was gone the moment I came into this world."
"Because I know very well how dangerous this world is, and I know how terrible this world is. Cocolia, whom you defeated so easily back then, can now easily crush me like a weed."
"Driven by the desire to survive, I initially only used you, with perhaps a tiny bit of a desire to help you... and then our encounters..."
"In the end, Jiang Cheng is someone who can't live without you, and even if you take some detours, your future life will definitely be wonderful!"
……
Dad, I cried out and started to vomit. VII Ahhh...
I already know what he's going to say.
I've heard this kind of talk more than once. Although the sentences and perspectives used are different each time, they all boil down to analyzing the changes in his emotions.
"Why do we always have to find a reason? Why do we even need an excuse for liking something?"
……
Chapter 92 Gray Snake: Who taught you your dating skills?
She doesn't understand.
I really don't understand.
Love shouldn't be about your heart racing and wanting to be with someone just by seeing them. It's about wanting to hug, kiss, and have a more intimate life together—why do you always need a reason?
When a bull meets a female goat, no matter how strong the bull is, with muscles that seem to bulge out, he cannot win the heart of the female goat, because the female goat only likes male goats.
Isn't this enough?
Is it really necessary to analyze why female goats can only be with male goats?
and so--
"--I love you."
That's all you need to say.