chsdbacks Page 111
Page 111
The boy, exhausted from thinking about it for so long, simply gave up and quietly accepted the lap pillow, accepting Yae Sakura's eyes that seemed to be getting closer and closer, and also accepting her lower lip being bitten as if she had made a decision.
On either side of the boy's body, which was difficult to see, fingers intertwined more intensely than ever before. Rin's last words and the beating heart within him intertwined, yet each time they were about to erupt, they were stopped by a sense of morality.
She wanted to vent but had no way to do so, she wanted to tell but had no way to do so—everything could only be contained within the girl's body until her tightly clenched teeth loosened.
"The moonlight is so beautiful... Mr. Jiangcheng."
……
For the first time, my voice felt so free.
She finally made a decision.
……
……
Her cherry-colored pupils trembled violently the moment she confirmed that the sound she heard was not a hallucination.
The leisurely pace of Jiangcheng was shattered in an instant. Even though his body had been exhausted and was almost unable to suppress his sleepiness, he was forced to muster his last bit of energy.
Because when these four words are spoken by people from the Far East, it's equivalent to saying directly—I like you.
"why?"
Asking questions subconsciously is an instinctive reaction.
However, what he received was not any prank—Rin's prank, all he could see were the girl's lowered eyes, and that unwavering resolve, leaving no room for retreat, forcing both herself and the boy into a corner, a corner where they faced each other—
"I like you."
“But Mei…” He instinctively wanted to refuse.
“I will talk to her,” Yae Sakura’s voice remained gentle and dignified, like a caress on an earlobe, and a direct tickle to the heart— “The mistake was mine for seducing you; you just haven’t learned how to fight back.”
"Please don't carry any psychological burden or hide your burdens. It's been so long... I think I know you a little bit now."
Her slender fingertips gently stroked a strand of hair, curling and teasing it, the tip even reaching the boy's nose, bestowing upon him its lingering fragrance.
Amidst the cherry blossom hues that could almost be used to describe the life of a girl named Yae Sakura, Jiang Cheng, whose perspective is being drawn in, listens to the soft voice that seems to be telling a poem.
That was the girl's most complete understanding of Jiangcheng, from being a victim to a bystander, and then to a companion and a rescued person.
"You clearly want certain things, your eyes are practically glued to them, but you'll never say it out loud. To others, you seem to be neither able nor unable to say it, leaving the choice to others. It's as if you'll only take a step forward if someone pushes you."
"It's like standing on high ground, making it seem like someone is giving you something, not like you want it, or that you're forced to accept it because they insist on giving it to you."
Every word is piercing, yet every word is true.
He truly told him everything.
That feeling, hidden deep in my heart, which I thought would never be discovered by anyone, until Mei's repeated confessions and...
—This is what Yae Sakura is saying now.
That almost completely shattered what I was saying.
The film vividly portrays the twisted and awkward experiences of ordinary people, their desires and wants, all from a third-person perspective.
Jiang Cheng was so disgusted by what he was being said that he almost wanted to disappear into the ground—if he had, he would have definitely chosen to run away immediately.
Knowing about a problem is one thing, but it doesn't mean you have to face it, especially for ordinary people. When faced with most difficulties, the first thing they would do is check if there are any holes in the ground.
Who can remain so calm and indifferent when criticized by others? Unless they are a habitual offender who has given up on themselves and whose car has slid off the road.
He almost thought he was going to be condemned, to be criticized by the girl for his consistently bad behavior, his consistently terrible conduct, and his ordinary nature—as someone he had indirectly caused to die, and who also possessed a holy mark that allowed her to see almost everything with her own eyes, Yae Sakura was the only one in the world who had the right and the right to do so.
Even villains and bad guys who are capable of easily committing murder cannot remain calm when faced with accusations from someone who could be a friend.
So all I can do is escape and endure it.
Bear with it.
However, just as Jiang Cheng even closed his eyes, preparing to tough it out on the inevitable criticism from his teammates, the voice beside him was softer than ever before.
Like the wind, like the water.
Like the ripples that are stirred up.
she says.
"It's okay. It must be because your past was very difficult. No one would give you anything willingly. If you asked for something, you would be scolded. That's why you've always been forced to do this and dare not ask for anything."
"Please don't feel guilty. This kind of awkwardness is a symbol of ordinary people. Ordinary life is so distorted, a mixture of good and bad, and then distorted people are born."
"So I will always be tolerant of you, whatever you want. If you are afraid to leave, then let me keep pushing you."
……
……
……
ah--?!
Jiang Cheng, who subconsciously peeked out, saw a pair of beautiful eyes, like lakes, gently pressing her chest and gazing intently at her. They were like a cherry blossom petal gently falling on the water's surface, and the fox-like, furtive eyes looked even more alluring from below.
Before any words, any doubts, any disbelief, or even a sound could arrive, the girl declared first—
"Because I have this kind of personality too. Yae Sakura is the same way. She doesn't take the initiative to strive or seek things out. She has to wait for someone to kneel down and lend a hand. So let's complement each other."
The fingertips lightly pressed against her chest seemed to be extending an invitation, saying—"Please feel free to push all the responsibility onto me."
"It was my own choice, it was my coercion, it was my pushing, it's because I'm a pervert, I forced you to do it..."
"Anything is fine."
……
……
……
The girl's voice, accompanied by her gentle fingertips, seemed to massage her troubled forehead, carefully untangling her chaotic thoughts. Her words, even as a signing ceremony, were as warm and comforting as a lullaby.
Not right.
Something is completely wrong.
What am I daydreaming about?
Even Mei has never been this direct.
But there was absolutely no chance to ask.
Because when you say something like that, haven't you considered whether you can bear that weight?
can do it.
Those eyes blinked so rapidly.
I can.
That's what the girl was saying at that moment.
Even her tall fox ears drooped slightly, and along with her long pink hair, beneath her willow-like eyelashes lay a resolute determination that could freeze even the lake water.
“I know you’ll definitely turn bad if this continues, Jiang Cheng, but even if you do, you can just take it out on me. Like this time, you can do whatever you want, whether you agree or refuse, the final result will only be borne by me alone… What’s harder for me to accept than turning bad is that you’ve been suppressing your own feelings all this time, Jiang Cheng.”
It's true.
The sounds and words are real.
No matter how hard I tried to believe it, or how unwilling I was to believe it, everything I was hearing at this moment was real, coming from Yae Sakura's mouth.
Even the sound of breathing, the wind blowing through the hair, and the subtle movements of it playing on my face—I could clearly perceive it all.
Everything proves that this is by no means some vague dream, nor some fantasy.
Indeed, a wonderful girl confessed her feelings to him, and even after he rejected her, she persisted and confessed in an incredibly humble manner.
But no matter how true this story may be, Jiang Cheng inevitably has countless questions lingering in his mind.
"why?"
……
……
……
……
Why do you want to do this?
Isn't this a very simple question?
Watching Jiang Cheng, who seemed to have crashed into an iceberg and was almost sunk, blinking blankly and asking the question in the last moments, the shrine maiden Yae seemed to be adding fuel and power to her inner decision. Even her fox ears were swaying silently.
As expected, Jiang Cheng, you would ask the same question no matter what, just like you once said—
I told you long ago, I know the best choice, I know what is the right thing to do.
Yes.
You gave me the best choice, but you never forced me to choose it.
Really...
She's so gentle.
Having received such gentle treatment, I will reciprocate with the same tolerance and kindness. Is there anything strange about that?
Always demanding of oneself, always striving to be trustworthy and dependable, yet always worrying about being unable to rely on others—this is something that is absolutely forbidden—Yae Sakura would cross her arms in front of her chest, learning the gesture of absolute refusal that Rin had taught her.
"I love you because of everything you did to me in the past."
Now it's becoming easier and easier to say.
My inner feelings are being constantly sorted out.
……
……
……
Although all of this only made Jiang Cheng more and more confused, to the point that even with his eyes open, even looking at the girl in front of him, he felt that the girl's appearance was somewhat similar to the purple lightning queen—
"What's the point of saying all this now? Do you really need to lust after an ordinary person like me?"
This is the only thing I can't understand.
The only thing I can't understand is myself, an ordinary person...
Ahhh...
It's no longer ordinary... but ultimately, within this already extraordinary body resides the sensitive heart that can only be cultivated in an ordinary world.
If you want to find a lover, there are countless options. It's not difficult to find a handsome young man who is good to you. Why share a bomb that could explode at any time with someone else?
Even if I suppress my feelings, it's because I've been through so much that I'm willing, or rather, I force myself to let her be tolerant, and I force myself to give her all my troubles and anxieties.
In the end, Jiang Cheng still couldn't understand it, just like he couldn't understand why Mei would confess her love again and again.
It was even more incomprehensible than before, because although I previously thought Mei's reaction was a suspension bridge reaction, I felt that I was not worthy of receiving complete love.
—But at least Mei confessed her feelings several times.
I did save/help her.
His interactions with Yae Sakura were completely devoid of this aspect; he was even an accomplice in her murder, let alone any talk of saving her.
All previous interactions ended in an unkind manner, whether it was the beginning of the cycle, where he would strike first upon meeting her, or the repeated rude rebuttals, or even the final act where he slapped away Yae Sakura's outstretched hand when she tried to help him, leaving her fingertips red.
In this situation, without any rescue or suspension bridge response, why should I—Jiang Cheng—be so loved by Yae Sakura?
Even if he only lusted after her body, it wouldn't be possible, because he wasn't even a virgin anymore, let alone an ordinary, unremarkable man.
Yae Sakura's seriousness at this moment is enough to prove that she is not lying, nor does she intend to use this to her advantage.
me……
Are you really not dreaming?
Jiang Cheng, stunned, couldn't help but start asking the bell—through the reliance between the two, he could communicate with Jizo Mitama without holding a weapon.
But the only response you'll ultimately receive is—"Resting, please do not disturb."