Toyokawa Shoko doesn't want to become a witch

Page 246

Instead, there was emptiness, an endless emptiness, as if the floor beneath my feet was made of cotton.

That sense of emptiness made her feel that what she was seeing was definitely not real.

“I have already granted your wish.” Kyubey looked at her. “You acted so eager when you couldn’t have it, but now that you have it, you feel nothing. Humans are such a twisted race.”

"This isn't something I earned on my own," Li Xi said, clutching her head. "Maybe I don't deserve to live."

“You’re wrong. This is what you deserve,” Kyubey said. “The fulfillment of one wish means that you will dedicate your entire future to fighting witches.”

“You’re a magical girl, Shiina Ritsuki.” Kyubey tilted his head. “Don’t forget, this is something your sister could never become.”

"So that's how it is...?"

After the first witch extermination, Riki discovers that Kyubey's words were true. As a way of fulfilling a wish, she must act as a magical girl, killing witches and protecting others.

This is what I should do.

This is the price to pay for fulfilling one's wishes.

This is my reason for living; if I didn't do this... I wouldn't deserve to live.

This idea was deeply rooted in Lixi's mind.

So she began to actively participate in magical girl activities.

Kill the witch, become stronger, and then continue killing witches to pay the price for her desires. Only in this way can she barely accept the adoration of others with a clear conscience.

She wanted to be like her sister, gaining recognition not through wishful thinking, but through her own abilities.

She wanted to be like her sister, doing everything to the best of her ability.

She's like a taut string; whenever she has the chance, she fills her time to take on missions to defeat witches while trying to balance her daily life.

The Reeds originally had an organization composed of magical girls, which Lixi thought was a bit absurd, as they actually required the magical girls in the group to perform on stage—although it wasn't absolutely mandatory, they strongly recommended doing so.

After all, during the era of the popular girl bands in Reed Plains, even if they weren't magical girls, there were plenty of girls forming bands. It was perfectly reasonable to ask magical girls to play one or two instruments just for fun, to stand on stage to celebrate their success, or to cheer on the challenges they were about to face.

Lixi quickly accepted this strange setting, and as the days went by, Lixi ushered in the next stage of her life as a magical girl.

Form a team.

Due to the unique nature of her magic, coupled with the ridiculously high number and strength of witches in Reed Plains, Lixi can no longer live a life where she is alone most of the time and only occasionally finds a temporary team from the board to make do.

The Seeds of Lamentation for temporary teams are used up by everyone the moment the raid is completed, so there's no way to save any.

Just then, Toyokawa Shoko, who had previously partnered with her in a temporary team, extended an invitation to join her as a permanent team member.

Lixi accepted and joined Crychic.

After joining the team, she discovered that what Xiangzi valued most about her was her ability to play the drums. Apart from her, everyone else also had their own instrument they were good at.

Xiangzi doesn't seem to be content with just forming a team to defeat the witch; she also has her own pursuits in music—or so she seems to think.

Li Xi questioned this.

Not for any other reason than because of the only exception in the team.

Takamatsu lights.

Deng is the only ordinary person, and also the only musical novice who has not mastered any musical instruments, and can only play the triangle and shake the maracas at most.

Whether as a member of a magical girl group or a member of a band, Touka is completely out of place with the companions that Shoko has chosen.

but.

Xiangzi created Crychic for the purpose of lighting.

For some reason, Lixi had this thought subconsciously when she saw the lamp. Because of this, she initially looked down on lamps.

Lixi couldn't like someone who was timid and hesitant in everything he did, had no desires of his own, and spoke in a low voice like a small animal.

Rather than saying she disliked the lamp, it would be more accurate to say that Lixi disliked herself. She saw her own reflection in the timid lamp, though not much, it was the most crucial part: weakness, hesitation, and inferiority.

That's... absolutely terrible.

Li Xi thought.

When exactly did my opinion on lights begin to change?

This was probably the first time the lamp had sung a sound.

The band Crychic was formed by Xiangzi for Deng. Xiangzi saw the lyrics Deng had written in his notebook and felt a resonance with him. She believed that since Deng was the one who wrote the lyrics, he should naturally be the lead singer to convey the song from his heart.

Li Xi had also read the lyrics; they were well-written, but he didn't feel any resonance with them.

She thought Xiangzi was making a mountain out of a molehill—that was her initial thought, until Deng sang for the first time in the recording studio, and Lixi finally understood what Xiangzi meant by "conveying".

Kyubey once said that a magical girl's qualities are determined by "cause and effect" and "sensibility".

Song, as an art form that has been present throughout human history, is one of the forms most capable of conveying "emotions" and evoking the "sensory" aspects of human beings.

Deng possesses an unimaginable talent for "sensibility"; her emotions can easily stir the emotions of everyone around her. Her singing voice seems to have a magical power, as if loosening the extremely taut strings of Lixi's instrument, allowing Lixi to unleash the timbre that was originally meant to be.

That ray of sunlight gently led me, who couldn't cry out loud that day, out of the shadows.

At first glance, Li Xi thought this lyric was nothing special, but when Deng sang it, it became quite interesting.

Lixi thought of himself.

I thought about my quiet efforts since childhood, the hardships after becoming a magical girl, and the time I spent working hard with everyone at Crychic.

All of this happened when Crychic successfully defeated their first Hard-class witch and stood on the stage of the victory celebration, with the lights singing a song that could represent all of them. For the first time, Lixi truly felt that she could still live with her head held high.

If the lamp were a singing siren wandering the Aegean Sea, Lixi would probably have jumped into the sea by now. (laughs)

All of this would have continued—if Xiangzi hadn't suddenly disappeared and then suddenly reappeared, saying he wanted to leave Crychic, everything would have continued, and the song "Spring Shadow" would have never ended.

Xiangzi was initially missing for two or three days.

Su Shi was afraid that Xiangzi might encounter a very powerful witch alone, and she was very worried. But no matter who she went to, she couldn't find Xiangzi.

A few days later, Xiangzi appeared, delivered a chilling declaration of leaving the team, and then disappeared.

Then, they witnessed the massacre of the Toyokawa family.

Li Xi went from confusion to anger, to regret, and back to anger.

His incomprehension of Xiangzi, his anger towards Xiangzi, his regret for not knowing about this sooner, and finally, he poured all his anger onto himself.

However, Crychic is now defunct in name only.

She returned to her old ways.

Why am I still so weak? Why haven't I changed at all? Why can't I even protect my companions? These kinds of thoughts turned into a new mountain, pressing down on Lixi's shoulders.

She became more competitive, more extreme, and more irritable, barely surviving on a sliver of her unwillingness to admit defeat.

However, without teamwork, her irritable personality and extreme fighting style made her more susceptible to injury.

During the six months that Crychic was practically defunct, Riki had a very tough time. If it weren't for the help of Ms. Hachiman Kairin, whom he met by chance and who was captivated by a plate of curry rice and happened to live in the same rental building or even next door, Riki might not have made it to his reunion with Akari.

Reuniting with the lamp was something Lixi never dared to imagine.

By a twist of fate, this makeshift team, formed by a pink-haired rookie, actually managed to find Deng and Su Shi. With Deng back, Li Xi felt inexplicably at ease, and as for Su Shi, her magic was also a very important part of her life.

In truth, Su Shi didn't care at all. As long as the light was still there, Li Xi still had a reason to keep trying. As long as the light was by her side, she could live with peace of mind.

......

But what if magical girls are a complete lie?

Lixi had never thought about this question.

As a magical girl, fulfilling her mission and paying the price for her own wishes is the foundation that drives Riki forward, and no one doubts this foundation—unless they encounter a significant shock.

When Aine uttered the words "Su Se has become a witch" with a sob in her voice, Riki's world collapsed.

The mission of a magical girl.

What Kyubey never explicitly said, Riki always believed was that magical girls had the mission to kill witches.

Magical girls are born to kill witches and to help others. Making a wish is merely a prepayment for becoming a magical girl and taking on this mission. After becoming a magical girl, she must spend her whole life striving to repay this reward.

Li Xi believed this, and he put it into practice.

From becoming a magical girl until now, all her thoughts and realizations—whether it's helping others, walking hand in hand with everyone with her head held high, or simply cherishing the time spent with Akari—are based on what she considers the ironclad rule of "the mission of a magical girl."

However, reality tells her that the true mission of a magical girl is only one: to release Kyubey—the energy needed by the Incubator race—the moment she falls into witchhood.

This is what Kyubey calls the "mission of magical girls," and it's their sole purpose in creating them. In other words, magical girls are Kyubey's tools from the moment they are born.

All of Li Xi's claims about helping others or paying off debts for his wishes are wishful thinking.

She owed Kyubey nothing; the moment she made her wish, she had already sold her life to Kyubey.

Haha.

Hahahahahahahaha—!

No wonder Cupid didn't go to see his sister.

If it were her older sister, she would never agree to this puppet alien who only speaks halfway and hides the truth. She would ask her all sorts of questions, just like she meticulously read the contract sent by the Fortune 500 company that planned to sign her when she was a freshman in college, peeling back every word of Kyubey's secrets.

Such a person would strive for whatever they want, and it's even less likely that they would agree to Kyubey's proposal simply because of their own desires.

Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I think of that at the beginning?

As expected, it's because...

No matter how hard I try, I can never catch up with my sister.

Lixi lost all memory of what happened afterward. When she came to her senses, she found herself sitting on the stairs outside her rented apartment, staring blankly at the flickering streetlight.

Even though no one will come to fix it, it still keeps turning on every single day, even though it's about to break down.

What a silly street lamp.

Just like myself.

A fool.

Lixi finished sucking the orange-flavored milk jelly in her hand and gave a self-deprecating laugh.

"I don't know how to live anymore." She lowered her head, her lifeless eyes not knowing where to look. "Why don't you kill me, before I become a witch."

She means it.

She was already doomed. If she continued to drift aimlessly like this, she would soon fall into depravity and become a witch after fulfilling her "mission as a magical girl".

Even death cannot fulfill Qiu Ru's wish.

"Lixi, raise your head."

When Lixi heard Hailing say that, he raised his head and looked at Hailing.

Snapped--!

The clear sound of a slap echoed through the night sky.

Hailing looked at Lixi expressionlessly and said coldly.

"I don't want to hear those words a third time."

The Tale of the Lost: The Lost Child - Chapter 301 Late-Night Talk

Snapped--!

Hai Ling realized she had lost control of her emotions after slapping Li Xi across the face.

Lixi's face was half red, and you could feel the burning pain just by looking at it. However, compared to the other half of her face, which was wrapped in bandages and actually covered in charred skin, this burning pain was nothing.

However, Hailing still feels very sorry for him.

He actually slapped her.

Hai Ling took a deep breath, calmed her surging emotions, and spoke as calmly as possible.

I don't want to hear that a third time.

"..." Li Xi seemed stunned by the slap, covering her red cheek, her intact eye staring blankly at Hai Ling, as if asking her why she did it.

Why do you want to do this?

That's because...

She didn't want to see the same thing happen to her again.