chsdbacks Chapter 49 Grandpa Su's "Health Preservation Lecture"
Chapter 49 Grandpa Su's "Health Preservation Lecture"
Wang Ye sat up, instinctively sensing something was wrong, and hugged his thermos tightly.
"Uh...that's just a rumor. It's not that amazing. I'm just a poor fortune teller."
"You're lying!"
An older woman shouted excitedly:
"The cult leader himself said! You are a true genius! As long as you stay and put that extraordinary technique into the cultivation furnace, we can all learn it!"
"Master Wang! Please have mercy! I have rheumatism and I want to be cured!"
"I want to get rich! I want to become stronger!"
"Master Wang! Don't go! Stay!"
The crowd began to stir, and dozens of hands reached out towards Wang Ye.
They showed no murderous intent or malice.
They were just... greedy.
This is more troublesome than malice.
Because even the king couldn't lay a hand on these unarmed ordinary people.
"No! Don't come any closer! Let's talk this out!"
"Auntie, even if you have rheumatism, coming to me won't help!"
"Sir...wait a minute, sir! I'm not a lottery ticket; I really can't control how you get rich!"
Wang Ye was so frightened that he retreated repeatedly, circulating his Tai Chi energy throughout his body, weaving through the gaps in the crowd like an eel, trying to slip away:
"Dear lay practitioners! Spiritual practice depends on affinity! Forced relationships are never sweet!"
"We'll eat it even if it's not sweet!!"
The villagers were so blinded by the beautiful vision painted by Ma Xianhong that they couldn't listen to reason.
Seeing that Wang was about to run away, they swarmed him and formed an encirclement.
"Holy crap! Train to Busan? Is this a zombie apocalypse???"
Wang Ye felt a chill run down his spine.
He dared not use the chaotic metal clapper, for fear of shocking ordinary people into a stupor.
I don't dare to use the carrying service either. If these old men and women accidentally break something, it'll be all over, and they could sue me to death.
At this very moment, Master Wang, who possessed the Feng Hou Qi Men technique, was being driven into a sorry state by a group of villagers.
"run!!"
Wang Ye yelled and, with the speed he used to use when he skipped morning classes on Wudang Mountain, sprinted towards Tingfeng Pavilion.
"Don't let him get away! That's our chance!"
"Chase them!!"
Twenty or thirty villagers, carrying hoes and carrying poles, chased after them in a long procession.
......
Biyou Village Square.
"Help! Master Su! Celestial Master! Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-story pagoda!"
Wang Ye ran and shouted, almost losing his shoes in the process.
Su Wuxian, who was watching the commotion, hugged a Coke bottle and laughed heartily.
"King of Wudang, if you beg me, I'll help you!"
"Master Su, you're my own master! Stop watching the show and help this humble Taoist priest out!!!"
Su Wuxian laughed heartily and ran away in a flash.
Wang Ye was stunned.
You promised to help me!
Why did you run away?
In the few seconds that Wang Ye was stunned, the villagers surrounded him again.
Just as Wang Ye was about to be overwhelmed by the crowd.
"Buzz buzz buzz... Feed me? Sound test, sound test."
A piercing electrical hum suddenly echoed throughout the entire village.
Immediately afterwards, a loud, booming, and somewhat languid voice came through the village loudspeaker:
"Attention all villagers! Attention all villagers!"
"This is the temporary management committee of Biyou Village. I am your... um, health expert Grandpa Su."
"Urgent announcement! A special lecture on 'Harmony of Life' is about to begin!"
The villagers paused in their steps.
The chasing group stopped, and everyone looked blankly at the high platform in the center of the square.
A table had been moved there sometime earlier.
Su Wuxian, wearing a floral shirt and reading glasses, holding a thermos in his hand, and with a microphone in front of him, was looking down at the crowd with a serious expression.
Beside him, Zhang Zhiwei and Tian Jinzhong sat on either side, like two door gods.
"What are you all running around here for?"
Su Wuxian tapped the microphone, his voice stern:
"It's the middle of the day, right after lunch, and you're already doing strenuous exercise. Aren't you afraid of getting appendicitis?"
"Especially that lady in the red dress! Your blood pressure was practically off the charts, and you were still chasing after her? Are you crazy? Did you take your blood pressure medication?"
The woman whose name was called was stunned, and subconsciously touched her head: "I...I didn't..."
"Not yet? Your face is as red as a monkey's bottom!"
Su Wuxian drew everyone's attention, and Wang Ye took the opportunity to slip down to the bottom of the platform to catch his breath.
Seeing that the time was right, Su Wuxian immediately switched to his deceptive mode:
"I know what you're thinking."
"Want to capture Wang Ye? Want to learn Feng Hou Qi Men? Want to become a mutant?"
Do you know what Feng Hou Qi Men is? Do you know what an "extraordinary person" is?
"And getting into the furnace will make you feel better?"
"Who told you that going into the furnace would make you better? Ma Xianhong?"
Su Wuxian slammed his fist on the table, heartbroken and indignant:
"My fellow villagers! You've all been foolish!"
"Do you know what an 'Outcast' is?"
"An extraordinary person is someone who is different from ordinary people! That power is gained by overdrawing one's life force!"
"It's like that... loan! Yes, loan sharking!"
Su Wuxian pointed to his face, which was so tender it looked like it could be pinched to release moisture:
"Look at me, and then look at you."
"I'm over a hundred years old, but I look like I'm twenty?"
The villagers below were in an uproar.
Over a hundred years old?
Isn't that ridiculous?
"This guy next to me is my senior, a few years older than me. Look how old he looks!"
Su Wuxian pointed at Tian Jinzhong.
Tian Jinzhong was speechless.
Damn it, after all these years of dominating the world of supernatural beings, Tian Jinzhong has now become a negative example!
Who the hell can stay young like you?
Want to know the secret?
Su Wuxian lowered his voice, feigning mystery:
"The secret is... just let things take their natural course! Don't overdo it!"
"That cultivation furnace is forcibly mortgaging your next life to exchange for the power of this life!"
"Do you really think a free lunch will fall from the sky?"
"If Ma Xianhong put you in the furnace, does he expect you to work? Does he expect you to obey him?"
"This isn't cultivation; it's clearly... harvesting韭菜 (a metaphor for exploiting people)!"
"Harvesting...harvesting leeks?"
The villagers looked at each other, not quite understanding, but they thought it was very impressive.
"right!"
Su Wuxian stood up, his voice filled with fervor:
"He turned you into superhumans. Can your bodies handle it? That will shorten your lifespan!"
Are you experiencing lower back pain? Insomnia at night? Hair loss?
The crowd below nodded frantically.
These are actually common problems among modern people, but in this environment, everyone instantly identifies with them.
"That's right! This is a precursor to side effects!"
Su Wuxian pointed at Wang Ye:
"Look at that Taoist priest Wang, his dark circles are so heavy! That's from practicing martial arts! It's a sign of kidney deficiency!"
"Do you want to become like him?"
Wang Ye: "..."
Mr. Su, thank you for using me as a negative example.
PS: Fourth update is here! This book seems to be getting a little popular, and there are so many negative reviews lately. I've read all the comments, some of which are genuine, and I thank you all for that. As for those mindless trolls, I haven't deleted them; after all, the book is here. There are a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people's eyes; it's normal for everyone to have different opinions. If you like it, please give me a thumbs up and send me a gift. If you don't like it... you've read this far, and you still don't like it? Hahaha! Also, my fever has subsided! I'm sweating buckets today!