chsdbacks Page 144
Page 144
"The first tone?"
Jiang Cheng, who had absolutely no emotional intelligence, also sensed that something was amiss.
"Yes."
Even if she swallowed all the words she wanted to say, there would always be some that slipped through the net. After all, there were just too many emotions in her heart, like opening the lid of a basement that had been fermenting for five years. Even so, the girl did not want to catch any of the slipped-through words.
I no longer have the strength or energy for that.
I can't do it/I'm not capable of it.
—She simply accepted Jiang Cheng's gaze with such certainty, and looked into those cherry-colored eyes that were only looking at her at that moment.
With me.
Not anyone.
"Well... I really feel honored."
Jiang Cheng scratched his head blankly, his eyes flickering several times before leaving only an empty, bewildered look.
Has Mistelline ever been praised before? Has she ever been seriously praised? — Such thoughts will never elicit a response.
Because this is an absolute dead end that the plot has never mentioned, the shadow of a building that has never been described, a corner that cannot be touched.
"There's no need to be so confused or at a loss." Mistylin smiled gently, her hands clasped together in front of her chest.
"After all, just like you said before, I've only been in this world for a short time, so some things definitely won't be the way you see them in the future."
that's true……
Since that was the case, Jiang Cheng nodded in agreement.
The emotions held in those eyes, blinking gently, and the pupils that seemed to be trying to be cute at the time were indeed a bit too immature and emotional. Compared to the later Rika, she seemed very immature, and was closer to the original Miss Hato. She did not actually seem calm, nor did she show much gentleness, at least on the surface.
"I'm very sorry, it was indeed my mistake, so I will try my best to see you as Mistelin."
It's like misjudging Mei's personality, which led to the tragedy of being chased down by a plane that was ultimately destroyed. This tragedy must not happen again.
"Therefore, I will get to know Miss Mistelin who is standing in front of me right now with a completely new attitude. Please rest assured, I know the drawbacks of precognitive abilities, so I will not arbitrarily label others or use future methods to estimate people in the present—that would be a wrong choice and behavior."
"Thanks to your timely reminder, otherwise I probably would have repeated the same mistake and accidentally fallen into the same trap."
This statement was truly made wholeheartedly—Jiang Cheng was extremely relieved and breathed a sigh of relief.
"In this case……"
Having encountered an unexpected joy she never imagined, Mistelin, who never even dared to dream of such a scene, answered without hesitation. She absolutely could not tolerate even a moment's pause because of it, and she could not accept it at all if it ruined Jiang Cheng's mood at this moment. She would definitely regret it for the rest of her life.
Even her normally clueless mind raced to find the most suitable action—her slender, jade-like fingertips pressed solemnly to her chest, and the silver-haired girl uttered her words with utmost urgency, as if racing against time.
"Then let me reintroduce myself to you. I am Misterine, the Misterine who has never sought death until now."
……
Chapter 119 Mei is still working
It was as if they had made some kind of decision.
Those eyes that belonged to Mistelin, those blurry and dreamlike eyes that looked at the bright sunlight in a dream, painted with a gorgeous blend of purple and clear blue on a silvery-white canvas—actions and expressions were completely irrelevant. Only those eyes, as windows to the soul, were clearly visible to the rational girl at this moment, bringing something human that was completely different from that sense of alienation.
Making a decision requires utmost seriousness; a wrong choice will lead to lifelong regret, and even a right choice is unlikely to bring good fortune. It's like knowing there's a cliff in front of you but still stepping forward—it requires unwavering will and clear understanding before taking that first step.
Why do you say that?
Why be so determined?
Thinking about it carefully, when exactly did the name Mistelin become associated with the word "suicide"?
The story officially begins in Chapter 32, and then the past is told starting in Chapter 33.
That is the origin of Mistelin.
It's the story of its very beginning—
Mistelin Schariac was essentially born during the period after Cecilia launched Holy Blood Liberation: White Flower Bloodlust during the Second Honkai Impact.
When Cecilia threw the Holy Blood Spear, her Stigmata reached its limit, surpassing the Herrscher of the Void for a brief moment, bridging all boundaries between reality and the imaginary. She transformed from what humans called the Stigmata Space into a form resembling a human and appeared in the world.
It is the first concrete evidence of the arrival of the ideal form into the world, and also an unexpected result of the curse of the Stigmata brought to Shaniat.
Because of the curse of the Stigmata, Cecilia possesses power that, unlike Cecilia who accurately grasped the power of the Stigmata before her death to save the lives of those who had suffered the Second Honkai, is a manifestation of the creative power of the Schariac bloodline branch. She has the poisonous blood of the Honkai, and her body has an extremely strong self-healing ability.
After witnessing the calamity he brought upon himself, he sought death dozens of times without success. He was then discovered and observed by the Grey Serpent, who was preparing to take Natasha Ciora back to the World Serpent.
Attempts to "activate" the Stigmata by following the will of humans to "reclaim" them and thus connect with them were futile. Those whose Stigmata were activated invariably met a demise, unable to find their kind or escape the profound loneliness within. After countless fruitless attempts, he unexpectedly encountered Bronya's birth mother—the pregnant Alexandra—on his journey. Alexandra unexpectedly became a Stigmata Awakener, bringing hope to the Stigmata Crystal, which was mired in despair. However, to save his unborn child, he helped Alexandra put the Stigmata to sleep, sacrificing his own life for the child's. He remained in this state for three months before leaving the Stigmata space and joining the World Serpent.
As for what happens after that, it's something that doesn't need to be told. Essentially, it's about a girl who discovers she can never have anyone like her and resolves to transcribe herself, creating in this way, and potentially creating more ideal forms in the future.
While there may still be some uncertainties regarding specific events, these are the general examples, stories of Mistelin that Jiangcheng will remember.
He was a person who was lonely, hurt others, carried poison with him, yet still hoped to communicate with people, still wanted to have companions, and still hoped to no longer be lonely.
……
He deliberately emphasized that he did not choose to seek death.
Is it an intentional or unintentional emphasis on loneliness?
Jiang Cheng, utilizing his abilities as a player and no longer looking back but exploring forward, clapped his hands.
Yes.
No wonder Mistelin seemed a bit strange.
Thinking about it carefully, those theoretical models are indeed not mature yet at this point in time.
In a world where it's practically impossible to find many people who have awakened their Holy Marks, it's understandable that the girl feels overwhelming loneliness.
Even if it is transcribed, even if one instinctively wants to treat the girl in front of them as a single individual, even if one instinctively wants to distinguish between self and consciousness, one cannot deny the commonalities.
They are essentially the regeneration of an individual, just like the continuation of human DNA, where the seeds of genes are sown to produce new individuals.
As if he were completely convinced that he had found his true goal, he thumped his chest and loudly proclaimed—
“Miss Misterlin, you don’t need to worry. Although your other self didn’t find her companions in the end, there are now Stigmata holders in the world that you couldn’t reach back then. Not only me, a half-baked one, but also Raiden Mei, Kiana, and Yae Sakura. Miss Bianca, who should be on her way now, is also a Stigmata holder and has some kind of connection with you.”
"You will no longer be alone. Even the only dandelion that fell into the desert has now blossomed into countless flowers as you were reborn. Not only are you no longer poisonous and can communicate and talk to anyone, but even if you were still poisonous, there are still many people in this world who can stay with you."
"no……"
The passion in Mistelin's heart seemed to be suddenly swept away by a strong wind, causing it to sway and waver.
Even the gentle demeanor that remained unchanged when encountering Shigure Kira later on was somewhat lost at this moment.
Even though he was looking directly into the boy's eyes, he felt as if he was about to sweat profusely. His eyes still wanted to see more, they longed for the boy's gaze. But instead of feeling satisfied, he felt a chill run down his spine.
you……
What are you thinking?
Is being a prophet really that easy? And why do I feel like your emotional intelligence is even lower than mine?
"Don't worry," Jiang Cheng's expression remained serious, his eyes still so sincere, as if he wanted to set the whole world ablaze. "You really won't be alone like this anymore. In fact, if you're willing to believe, I can declare to you as a prophet that in the future you will not only have your own kind, but you will also gain your own companions, and not just one friend, but many, many friends. Although there will still be some people who misunderstand you, they will all be willing to accept you in the future and like you from the bottom of their hearts."
……
what?
Is this the point?
After finally mustering up a bit of courage, this is what happened—looking at those eyes that clearly knew nothing, yet still thought they knew a lot, and thus gazed at me earnestly, solemnly, and with unwavering determination, like cherry blossoms falling onto the water's surface, trembling and creating ripples, yet still remaining unchanged in those same eyes.
Even though thinking about it is wrong, the colors in it are taken to an excessive degree.
It is forcibly proclaiming blessings and truth in its capacity as a prophet.
Well……
I suppose you could call it that.
The loneliness hidden in one's heart—that is, accumulated from creating too many tragedies and watching people die time and time again because of the poison they are poisoned with—can this loneliness simply disappear after being transcribed?
If it were really that simple, then why would someone carry around and command so many things that they can't even speak, remaining in their most primitive form, driven by instinct?
If these things had been pointed out at another time, the girl would probably have accepted the blessing and reminder with great satisfaction.
The situation is not good now.
I won't accept it now.
Because what's important now isn't whether there are flowers around, but the issue of the dandelions blooming again versus the dandelions of the past—a non-rational issue that should have been ignored, but was discovered, raised, and reconsidered because of one person.
After all, transcription should be a common occurrence for rational types, and there shouldn't be so much thought involved, nor should there be any obsession with the differences between "me" and "me".
If those questions from before were actually asked, like "Am I the only one in your eyes?" or "Can I be the only one in your eyes?" and they were actually uttered...
At this very moment, she would likely find it difficult to suppress the urge to continue asking the same questions, and once again, taking advantage of Jiang Cheng's earnestness, she would forcefully bury her body within those eyes, determined to permanently imprint her image in those eyes that belonged to Jiang Cheng, and to make an even more fervent confession—
If you hadn't mentioned these things, I probably wouldn't have even noticed them.
I noticed the difference between myself and humans, and I realized what the self truly is.
Just like a dandelion that falls into the desert doesn't think it needs to bloom, until it finds itself being watched, pointed at, and called by its own name—dandelion.
It is probably only at this moment that the dandelion, gazing at the withered world, will realize, "Ah, I am a dandelion. I need to bloom, I need to sow seeds, I need to live in this world as I am—a dandelion."
……
……
……
fair enough.
Mistelin took a deep breath and calmed down a bit. Jiang Cheng's words, which were like a bucket of cold water, had drenched her whole body and even her inner passion had been extinguished. Considering the trouble that directly confronting Jiang Cheng would cause and the problems Mei and the others would face, she could only choose to accept it.
However, I
What a pity.
What would the first Mistelin be thinking when she was being stared at like that and said those words?
Thinking about it, even though the transcription was complete and everything had been lost, my chest felt as if it were being filled with something and swelling up.
Even the throat and trachea were blocked, by the sudden surge of words and emotions that wanted to be expressed.
Unlike the emotions I felt before, which were suppressed by experience and knowledge since birth, this was something completely incomprehensible. I could clearly feel a regret that didn't belong to me, yet was so familiar to me, utterly impossible to suppress.
All of this made Mistelin almost involuntarily gaze into those eyes.
"Jiangcheng."
"Ok?"
"Can I say something? Not as I am—Misteline's identity and thoughts, but as Misteline who actually died after attempting suicide dozens of times."
"Okay."
Jiang Cheng nodded without hesitation, feeling that his extraordinary emotional intelligence was becoming more and more useful. He had truly been honed by Mei's emotional intelligence.
“Let’s use the example you just gave.” Mistelin spoke softly, her eyes slightly lowered, as if confessing her own words. “After the dandelion blooms, its seeds are scattered by the wind.”
"Well?"
"The fluffy seeds drift away with the wind, far, far away from their homeland. Perhaps one of them will land in a barren desert. What will that seed think then... Just imagining that situation makes one feel lonely."
"..."
"Even though it's just a seed, if it encounters some extraordinary opportunity, it will definitely start working hard to turn the desert into something that is no longer a desert. Even if it's just a single seed, it wants to strive and multiply until it turns this land into a field of dandelions. What do you think is the reason that the dandelion seed would make that determination?"
Those eyes were so bright that they were unlike the gentle, aloof, and calm Mistelin would have. They were overly intense, as if they were asking a question. Even the purple in them was excessively solid, as if the colorful, pulsating clouds above the sky had been forcibly frozen in place.
Something is rising up from behind.
Following the spine, following the neck.
I already have a vague feeling about it – Jiangcheng.
You could see a different person in those eyes.
It was as if there was another Misterine, standing in the body of the current Misterine, staring at him.
"...Why?"
Even though she already knows everything about II ball gu Ling (nine) 彡 Liu, she still keeps asking.
"As long as there is one person in the desert who loves that dandelion, he says to the seed, 'The dandelion flower is so beautiful.'"