chsdbacks Page 146
Page 146
Help! There are perverts at the festival!
"...Look what you've done, Kohei! Do you want to die?!"
"This is the punishment for eating alone! Besides, the girl was clearly scared away by you, you jerk!"
After a brief silence, Kitahara Iori, his face dark, lifted Imamura Kohei by the neck, his expression suddenly becoming incredibly ferocious—
He'd just found his prey, and this guy Kohei had to interfere and ruin it all! Was he looking for trouble?! Absolutely unforgivable!
However, Kohei Imamura said he would never take the blame for this. He only glanced at the girl twice, and it was Iori who was being unreasonable!
Staring at someone's butt is hardly appreciative behavior; it's more like being sent to eat pork chop rice!
But ultimately...
"I can't find a female companion at all... what should I do?!" x2
At the same time, feeling lost, Kitahara Iori and Isumura Kohei had been arguing for a few minutes when a wave of sorrow suddenly washed over them, and the two immediately knelt down and wailed in each other's arms.
"..."
As customers circled around his shop to avoid the pervert, veins bulged on the shaved ice shop owner's forehead.
These two guys, if they want to self-destruct, they should find a secluded place, hug a plastic bag, and let it decompose on its own. What are they yelling about in front of their own shop?
Besides, with their awful appearance, it would be strange if they could find female companions!
"Um, you two gentlemen..."
"What's wrong, uncle?"
With tears welling in his eyes, Kohei Imamura looked up at Seigen, sobbing, as two servings of shaved ice were handed to him at the same time.
"Actually, this festival is blessed by a shrine where you can pray for good luck in love. It's said to be very effective!"
Despite being furious, he still had to keep smiling and hand over protection money to the two plague-like figures. The shaved ice shop owner waved his hand at the tearful blond man in front of him.
"Consider this my treat for you guys, go check it out!"
"Hooray~ Good luck with women? Hey Iori, let's go!"
"Pshaw, only elementary school kids would believe that kind of stuff!"
Kitahara Iori pulled out her phone from her pocket to scan the QR code and pay. Before she could even wipe away her tears, she pulled out vodka from her backpack and poured it over the shaved ice.
"Aww~ Kohei really never grows up..."
"Does a scumbag like you, who can't even find a female companion, have the right to criticize others?"
Imamura Kohei was so impressed with the vodka shaved ice that, under the horrified gaze of the shaved ice shop owner, he tilted his head back and poured the entire bowl of shaved ice into his mouth, swallowing it all without hesitation.
"Gulu..."
The shaved ice shop owner's heart trembled as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.
He had personally witnessed an entire bottle of vodka being mixed into the shaved ice, yet Iori and Kohei finished it without batting an eye, and their backs even stood taller as they left.
Are these two guys really pure human?
……
"So, the whole 'drawing lots for blessings' thing is just a scam for kids; it's purely psychological!"
Shaking her shaved ice spoon, Kitahara Iori stood in front of the small torii gate with a helpless expression that suggested she couldn't stand children, and spread her hands toward Niimura Kohei, indicating that she would never place her hopes on vague and unrealistic prayers.
Instead of praying to gods and Buddhas, you should strive for good grades and a girlfriend through your own hard work!
Of course, whether the methods used were despicable or not is a separate matter.
"No, no, no! Actually, there's some scientific basis to the practice of drawing lots!"
"Huh? Is there a reason other than psychology?"
"exactly……"
With a serious expression, arms crossed and holding up one finger, Kohei Imamura explained in a deep voice with his eyes half-closed: "That is, just by asking for a fortune slip, you can find common ground with girls! You can even give them a sense of destiny!"
"what?"
Completely unable to understand what Kohei was saying, Kitahara Iori pinched her chin, trying to establish a mental link with him. Then, fragmented thoughts flooded her mind—
Imagine if you drew a peach blossom fortune stick; you could use it as a topic of conversation when you're on a date with a pretty girl, since girls have little resistance to romantic things.
Not only that! If they could take it a step further, they could successfully become boyfriend and girlfriend.
You could also take out a peach blossom fortune stick to tell the other person that this is a marriage bestowed by the gods, instantly maximizing the sense of ceremony!
"Wow... so drawing lots really does work!"
In an instant, Kitahara Iori's attitude changed, and his gaze toward the shrine became incredibly devout, as if he had always been a staunch theist.
"That's right!!!"
"Yosh! What are we waiting for? Let's hurry up and bring Daji home..."
"Great misfortune! Another great misfortune! Is this shrine filled with nothing but bad luck?!"
Just as Kitahara Iori and Imamura Kohei stepped into the shrine with ugly smiles that seemed designed to deceive beautiful girls, the crowd in front of them erupted in sharp cheers, freezing them in place.
"Excuse me, excuse me..."
"Oops~ Why are my feet out of control?!"
She turned and left. Although she didn't know what had happened, Kitahara Iori knew from just one sentence that someone must have drawn the Great Fate multiple times.
That's right, drawing the "Great Fortune" card will bring corresponding blessings, both psychologically and physically.
Conversely, if you draw a very unlucky fortune stick, even if you try your best to comfort yourself that it's just a temporary bad luck, it will still cause you a severe emotional blow!
Single people's fragile health bars can't withstand any hardship, so it's best to avoid such life-threatening activities...
"Wait! This is just a misunderstanding! Neither of you can get away, Big Brother or Second Brother!!!"
brush-
As the shrine maiden behind her wailed in a tearful and exasperated voice, two burly men in loincloths suddenly sprang out from beside the torii gate, the only exit of the shrine, and blocked the doorway.
Seeing the serious expressions on their faces, their eyes fixed straight ahead, and their bulging muscles, Iori and Kohei exchanged a glance and both saw the helplessness in each other's eyes—
It's true what they say, the mountains are high and the emperor is far away. I've seen restaurants and bars that don't let customers leave, and now even shrines have learned this trick!
"Iori, what do we do now?"
"Unless that bastard Yu is also there, we definitely can't win by sheer force..."
He spread his hands, indicating that there was no way to help. Given that Yu was probably shopping with Nana and the others at the moment, Kitahara Iori didn't think that the other party would abandon such a beautiful woman to save him.
"Sigh, does that mean we can only wait for the customer who drew the worst lottery to have a change of luck?"
With a sigh, Kohei Imamura peered through the crowd, speechless, wondering which unlucky deity had managed to draw so many ominous signs, making the shrine afraid of ruining its reputation.
But the next second...
"A terrible omen! A terrible omen! How could this be!"
"No! Why! Why!"
Amidst the cheers of the crowd, Kohei Imamura saw the familiar red-haired figure kneeling on the ground, howling in despair and denouncing the injustice of fate. If nothing unexpected happened...
"Yamamoto!? What are you doing here?"
"Huh? Kohei!!!"
When scumbags meet, they are bound to be furious. Looking at Shinichiro Yamamoto, who was crying uncontrollably and constantly frowning and sniffling, Kohei Imamura felt a blood-red "danger" rising in his heart.
Swallowing hard, his pupils dilated in shock, Kitahara Iori quickly squeezed through the crowd, knelt in front of Yamamoto Shinichiro, grabbed his shoulders, and shook him frantically.
"Yamamoto! Cheer up, Yamamoto! What kind of fortune did you draw?!"
"Phew! Of course it is, it's fate!"
"...It's over."
With a sorrowful, bitter smile on her face, Iori slumped to the ground, clutching her head, and began to writhe. A murder to silence her, orchestrated by the shrine, was clearly inevitable.
This is Yamamoto! Shinichiro Yamamoto! The eternal virgin, a figure unparalleled in Japan's history!
If he were to draw a fortune slip that is not extremely unlucky, perhaps only Amaterasu could rewrite his fate.
There's no need to expect a miracle anymore...
"Damn it! Don't make that burnt-out face, you bastard! Aren't we best friends? Come and comfort me!"
"Damn it! It's clearly you who's got something wrong with your head! You eternal virgin should just stick to exercising your right hand! What are you doing asking for a marriage fortune slip!"
"What did you say!!!"
Just a second before Yamamoto Shinichiro was poised to take Iori down with him, the giant divination stick slammed down between them with a thud.
"Huff...huff...let's try again! This time, the divination sticks will only show 'Great Fortune,' there's absolutely no chance of 'Great Misfortune'!"
"Ah, Miss Shrine Maiden is completely confused. Is it really okay to just say something like that?"
Looking pitifully at the delirious shrine maiden, Kohei Imamura reached into the fortune-telling container and randomly pulled out a handful of fortune slips, all of which were undoubtedly very auspicious.
"Screw it! I can't worry about anything else now! This guy, this guy has drawn dozens of big ominous cards!"
Tears streamed down her face, and her pupils spun like mosquito coils.
You have to understand that the shrine maiden only wrote less than a hundred ominous cards in total, and this red-haired guy pulled them all out at once. This doesn't make any sense in terms of probability!
But this time there will definitely be no problem. The fortune sticks that are all good luck will not result in bad luck, and the shrine's reputation can still be saved!
"Okay! Here I come!"
"Ichikatsu Red Hair! Charge towards Daikichi!"
"This guy actually wants to smoke again? He's just fooling himself!"
Speechless as she looked at the imposing Yamamoto, Kitahara Iori wanted to say that since it was already a fait accompli, what was the point of deceiving herself here?
But this is for the best; if Yamamoto gets a good draw sooner, he can be released sooner, except...
Can a perpetually virgin man really draw a very auspicious fortune slip in the marriage lottery?
"If it were in a science fiction movie..."
So, under the slightly uneasy gazes of Iori and Kohei, the fortune slip was yanked out of the fortune tube by Shinichiro Yamamoto, who held it between his fingers.
The crowd surged forward, all eyes now fixed on Yamamoto's trembling, short, stubby fingers.
One-fold, two-fold, three-fold—
The character "大" (big) is already clearly visible through the paper on the back, so now comes the moment to witness a miracle!
"Great luck! Give me the prize!!!"
With bloodshot eyes, Shinichiro Yamamoto, filled with unwavering determination, turned the last fold of the fortune slip, but—[Ominous]
"..."
"..."
To draw a very unlucky number from a box full of auspicious numbers—that must be a skill of the rule-based system, right?
Unable to accept what was happening before her, the shrine maiden felt black and white snowflakes falling in front of her. Her mouth agape, she took two steps back, but couldn't catch her breath and fell heavily backward.
"Little sister!!!"
In a flash, Er0er3 appeared. Qiuba-Erlai, no longer caring about controlling the situation, the two burly men in loincloths anxiously lifted the unconscious woman by the head and one foot and rushed towards the infirmary, leaving behind only the pitiful guests at the shrine who muttered that she was a perpetual single dog and gradually dispersed.
"..."
Completely gray and white, kneeling on the ground as the ominous fortune slipped from his hand, Yamamoto Shinichiro stared wide-eyed, barely breathing, probably already dead.
"Well, just as I expected, I told you that drawing lots is unreliable, I should just find a female companion myself."
"That's what I meant, so that I won't be laughed at by that bastard You who's got women on both sides."
"Gone! Gone!"
They had no heart at all; whether scum like Yamamoto lived or died was of no concern to them. Iori and Kohei turned and walked out of the shrine without offering any help whatsoever.
However, when the words "embracing both women" reached Shinichiro Yamamoto's ears, his stiff fingers trembled twice, as if he had found a glimmer of hope.
"Wait! You mean that bastard Yu is here too?!"
"Of course."