Warhammer: I don't want to become a stinky can!

Page 420

New Year's Eve Bonus

Warning before viewing:

Free bonus chapter, 8.1k words in total, chaotic timeline, fictional setting, all characters are completely unrecognizable, purely for fun and self-indulgent enjoyment, includes illustrations.

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"Today is the last day of the year."

Hades pointed to the last little red circle on the calendar. The calendar, which was the size of a mortal, looked like a miniature toy in his hands.

Where have you been?

Hades said seriously, turning his head to look at Neos sprawled on the sofa. Neos was tilting his head back, playing with bubbles with a golden straw. Many magnificent church-shaped bubbles were floating in the air, their golden light shimmering on them.

Strictly speaking, Hades should be with the Death Guard right now, but Neos, citing the need for Hades' work, seconded Hades to Terra. The two cronies reunited and promptly began enjoying their wonderful work.

Hades turned his head, holding the calendar, and looked at the table beside him. There was a holographic galactic map on the table next to him. Hades reached out and casually zoomed in and out of the map.

"...Macurag?"

Hades asked hesitantly, but just as he uttered the last word, a deafening sound suddenly rang out!

Hades deftly tilted his head—smack!

A golden scepter grazed his right cheek, then trembled as it was stuck into the wall.

Hades turned around and spread his hands towards the door.

"Okay, okay, let's change it, let's change it."

Makado, standing at the door, began to cough violently.

"Shouldn't you be working?!"

The old man's tired and angry voice rang out, "Tourism? Vacation?!"

Lying sprawled on the sofa, Neos tilted his head back and blew a bubble that depicted a hunched figure angrily waving his cane.

"You come too, Makado."

The emperor said, holding a golden straw, "It doesn't have to be Macurag."

The old man let out an angry, incomprehensible roar, but the two in front of him were clearly oblivious. Hades turned his head and, trying to cover up his true intentions, blew a cheerful "Congratulations on getting rich" tune, while the Emperor, sprawled on the sofa, blew out a tiny, hunched-over, roaring bubble.

Makado took a deep breath, trembling, and reached out into the void. Hades turned his head to the side, and the scepter that had damaged the palace wall returned to the old man's hand.

Makado stormed over to the sofa, sat down, crossed his arms, and angrily muted his microphone.

The Lord of Mankind blew a bubble that extended a finger. The bubble floated and shimmered with colorful light. It drifted to Makado's side, poked the old man, and then popped open, exploding into a small golden firework next to the old man.

"Where would you like to go on vacation? Shall we go see Ruth?"

The emperor spoke.

"Ruth has been hanging out with Khan and Magnus lately,"

Makado said stiffly, "I don't know what those guys are doing together. They've already ruined several of Mars' super-engines—going now would only disturb them."

"Oh."

The emperor responded coldly, "Then let's choose another one."

"How is Saint Gilles?"

Makado coughed a few times.

“The archangel has recently been trying to mend their relationship with Horus, so you’d better give them some personal space.”

"Horus..."

The Lord of Humanity said somewhat dejectedly, "Alright."

"Where's the big moth?"

Hades spoke, switching the holographic map to the star system where the Death Guard was located and opening the real-time data there.

"Hmm...it doesn't seem to work either..."

Hades muttered to himself, "This guy seems to be addicted to killing aliens. It doesn't seem realistic to go find him and make dumplings with him now."

Hades let out an annoyed sound and switched the map to Macurag.

"Ah—Killiman is changing policies again!"

Hades shouted, pointing to the data slip the Primarch had sent to Terra, "He guessed it was inconvenient to visit, but he didn't?!"

"No Macurag!!!"

Makado roared, and the bubbles around him that were trying to poke his fingers exploded instantly with his roar, bursting into tiny fireworks.

"Where to?!"

Hades roared in despair,

"We can't possibly spend New Year's Eve buried in piles of documents on Terra! If all else fails—why don't we just go to the Eye of Terror and wish the warp creatures a Happy New Year?!"

"Good idea,"

The emperor, sprawled on the sofa, sipped a golden straw and spoke lazily.

"Go beat them up, that sounds good."

Makado let out a suffocating sigh, as if he thought everything here was beyond saving.

Hades muttered to himself as he flipped through the map, searching for several legions in a row—

"What the heck?! They're all busy! How come their lives are so fulfilling?!"

Hades shouted, heartbroken.

"Only me, and you—Nios! A new era has arrived! Old fogies like us are just ashes of history! Useless!"

“You are very useful—if you have too much free time, you can approve official documents, Hades.”

Makado's deep, resentful voice came from behind, and Hades naturally ignored him.

"It's no use!"

Hades repeated himself, then strode back to the sofa, slumped down, and expertly reached for the Coke on the coffee table.

The Emperor blew bubbles from his fingers, which burst around Hades, accompanied by the sound of "Congratulations on your fortune!"

"Decided!"

Hades looked up sharply at Neos and Macado, feeling a firm resolve creep up his spine.

"I'm spending the whole year in Terra! I'm going to sleep through New Year's Eve!"

The Emperor bit the straw, and an "OK" sign bubble stuck to the other end of the straw.

"You'd rather sleep bored than work!!!"

Macado emitted a sharp, explosive sound.

"All that I did back then was just to slack off now!!!"

Hades responded with the same booming sound.

"I am a hero! I shed blood for the Empire!! I contributed to Terra!!! Ughhhhhhhh! I want to—stop working!!! I have! Work-related PTSD! Severe post-traumatic stress disorder! Work will kill me!! You can't kill me! You're killing me for nothing!! Killing the goose that lays the golden eggs!!! Sarilang—Sarilang! You've killed a hero!!!"

"Shut your dog mouth!!"

With a loud bang, Macardo stood trembling with rage, gripping the scepter, now bent at an even more perfect angle.

Hades clutched his head, shouting things like, "They've killed meritorious officials! There's no law anymore!"

"The law?!"

Makado roared,

"Go ahead and try to enact it! How long have these documents for enacting a new law been piling up?!"

"no way!!!"

Hades shouted,

"We need to cultivate the abilities, independence, and autonomy of the new generation!!! Old Ma! Old Ma! You've spoiled them too much!"

“...I think,”

The Emperor spoke slowly, and as soon as the Lord of Humanity spoke, a tremendous golden light appeared, forcibly silencing Hades and Macado.

“I think Hades is right.”

The Emperor said,

"Old Ma, it's time for us to let go."

"You've been working too hard for too long, take a break and give the new generation a good workout."

Macardo stared at the Emperor, who trembled. The Lord of Mankind, with his profound and wise gaze, fixed on him with unwavering resolve, as if silently advising this elderly man who had willingly overworked himself.

The Lord of Mankind has used his ultimate move against Makado!

Makado's will wavered!

*Macado's Willpower - 999

Macardo compromised!

*Win/Loss 8965487/1

Finally, Makado's shoulders slumped.

"Alright alright."

The old man, who had just been angry, seemed to have lost all his strength and slumped back into the sofa.

"Listen to you."

The old man pulled down his hood and muted his microphone again.

When Hades saw that Macado had compromised, he chuckled and resumed his confident and swaggering demeanor.

"Then,"

Hades tentatively suggested,

"We're planning to show four or five movies, and prepare snacks, so we can watch them all inside the palace?"

"How about we invite Waldo?"

"Let him go and keep watch."

The emperor said calmly.

“Whatever you say,” Hades said, “but I’ll decide the snack list. I want some fries.”

"it is good."

The emperor stared at the ceiling, speaking thoughtfully.

"I want to see the second remake of The Great Rebellion 3 (Part 1)".

The Lord of Mankind said.

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Hades noticed something was wrong in the hallway.

At this moment, he was holding a plate of roasted meat stacked high in each hand, with a large pile of it on his back, his pockets stuffed with jelly and tangerines, and lollipop strips and sealed braised duck necks wrapped around his neck. On his head were stacks of popcorn, fries, and fried food, with a box of fries tilted on top. With each step Hades took, a fries would fall out of the box, and Hades would cleverly tilt his head slightly and open his mouth to catch it.

Hades munched on his fries, his cheerful steps slowing slightly as he squinted at the door at the other end of the corridor.

Something doesn't seem right.

Hades realized this, but since releasing the Dark Domain in the palace was really unsatisfactory, Hades chose to temporarily refrain from using the Dark Domain to explore the way.

The mechanical eye's perspective showed that there was nothing wrong with the room—but was there really nothing wrong?

Hades walked over, kicked open the door, and shouted.

"I'm carrying food!"

The next moment, a roar and screams erupted as Hades leaped upwards in a majestic, wings-spreading motion, and with a thud! The snacks above Hades' head crashed into the ceiling, the top bag of fries falling down. Without hesitation, Hades caught the bag in his mouth.

Leman Russ's hearty laughter rang out from below Hades as the Wolf King, riding his motorcycle, made a daring sharp turn inside the room.