chsdbacks #372 - A skit performance full of accidents made the audience laugh! (2 in 1 order required)
#372 - A skit performance full of accidents made the audience laugh! (2 in 1 order required)
The wife, Jenny, retorted, "How could he possibly be gay?"
Jason blushed and said, "How is it impossible? Tom gave me unimaginable pleasure, like an oasis suddenly appearing in the desert, like a raging fire igniting dry firewood!"
Charles, who was next to him, looked confused and asked with goosebumps all over his body:
"Which of you is the bottom?"
Jason said proudly, "We are versatile between top and bottom!"
The comments continued to have fun:
"Hahahahaha, I'm dying of laughter, oh my god!"
"Wo ri(沃日: expression of surprise or frustration), the amount of information in these conversations is huge, what exactly did the male lead do in the previous episodes?"
"I kind of want to see the full version of this drama, what should I do? Is Taoyuan Township considering filming it?"
Just then, Tom's father couldn't bear it any longer and shouted:
"Enough!!!"
The drama's BGM began to turn sentimental again.
"I won't allow you to comment on Tom like this anymore. No matter what mistakes he has made in the past, or what problems he has, he is my son, my blood flows through his body, and he is my pride!"
"Eh..."
Just then, Tom's mother suddenly glanced aside with a guilty conscience and started whistling.
Seeing his wife's reaction, Tom's father instantly understood.
The others subconsciously clapped their hands: "Nice boat!"
The comments were shocked:
"Holy crap, this reversal is amazing!"
"Old Wang(老王: refers to the neighbor who is having an affair with the wife) is VIP for the whole show!"
"Welcome to the confrontation lane, hahaha!"
The drama's background music began to become tense.
Tom's father rushed onto the hospital bed and roared, "You little bastard, I'm going to pull out your turtle's son's oxygen tube!"
Tom's mother quickly stepped forward: "I gave birth to this little bastard, if anyone's going to pull it, it's going to be me!"
Tom's wife, Jenny: "You dog scumbag who betrays marriage, let me do it!"
Charles said angrily, "Old Wang(老王: refers to the neighbor who is having an affair with the wife) is actually by my side, let me do it!"
Jason said sadly, "My dear, let me send you on your last journey!"
"I..." Mary looked around, "Whatever, I'll do it too!"
The supporting characters, who were originally gathered around the hospital bed in grief, began to scramble to pull out Tom's oxygen tube.
"Don't snatch, let me do it!"
"No, let me do it!"
"You little bastard, it's a waste of air to be alive, a waste of land to be dead, and a waste of RMB(RMB: Chinese Yuan) to be half-dead, let me do it!"
The hospital bed shook violently, and Tom secretly opened his eyes and glanced at it, then quickly closed his eyes and continued to pretend to be asleep.
Mary suddenly shouted, "Ah, he's pretending to be dead, I saw it!"
Tom's mother: "Get the pillow, bring the pillow over."
Everyone worked together to cover Tom's head with the pillow and hold down his arms to prevent him from struggling.
Jenny looked murderous: "Die, you dog scumbag!"
With a click, she directly unplugged the power cord of the medical equipment at the head of the bed.
Tom, who was still struggling on the bed, finally stopped moving.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
However, Tom's father suddenly pointed to the medical equipment display at the head of the bed: "Why is this machine still running?"
Charles took off the pillow and looked at it, Tom was still alive and kicking, gasping for breath.
Charles: "WRNM(WRNM: abbreviation of a Chinese swear word), what's going on?"
"Beep--"
A piercing alarm sounded, and the man on the next bed suffered a sudden cardiac arrest.
Tom's family was shocked:
"S... sorry!"
[End of the whole drama]
...
After the TV clip was played, the live broadcast room was flooded with comments:
"Hahaha, so the doctor made a mistake from the beginning?"
"Mom, thinking about this situation is still... it's better to just slang for kill him directly."
"This TV series tells us that before slang for kill someone, you must physically destroy your hard drive, mobile phone, and computer, and don't put your harem together."
"Indeed, you have to keep your innocence in the world."
"I went, the anchor is so good at choosing roles, and he made another awesome script!"
The game popped up the settlement interface, and the Douban score of this TV series soared to 7.5 points!
Game prompt: [The total number of viewers exceeds 5 million, the task fails again]
However, after this prompt that the task failed, the company's viewership revenue directly earned 10 million!
Yinzi was stunned in the office. The sunglasses man who had threatened him before ran into the office again, looking fierce:
"What's wrong with you, kid? Are you deliberately going against the company? Are you a police undercover agent sent to sabotage us?"
Yinzi looked at the gun that the other party took out of his suit pocket and swallowed:
"Would you believe me if I said this was really just an accident?"
The sunglasses man smiled coldly and put the pistol back in his pocket:
" alright, I'll give you one last chance. The police have already noticed the suspicious accounts of our company. Next time you launder money, you must ensure that it is low-key enough and absolutely cannot increase the ratings again, understand?"
The sunglasses man turned and strode away.
Yinzi re-entered the interface for hiring screenwriters. Because of the previous lessons, he didn't dare to find anyone casually this time.
"Brothers, this game is playing tricks on me. The candidates are all freaks.
I know this time that everything should return to the original. I want to use screenwriter Hu again,
But this time it's different. Didn't screenwriter Hu write sketch scripts before? This time we will let him use his old job and write sketch scripts!"
Yinzi called screenwriter Hu to the office and told him his idea. The other party hesitated and said:
"But, Mr. Producer, TV series and sketches are completely different carriers. If I write TV series with the idea of writing sketches, the effect will be very bad."
I wouldn't use you if it wasn't bad!
Yinzi smiled and said, "It doesn't matter, just go ahead and write."
[Please add a genre tag to the new work]
Yinzi slapped his head: "Since it's a sketch script, then I might as well film a sketch performed in a TV series. That's right, this TV series is about the story of a sketch crew!"
So, Yinzi selected the following tags: sketch, a comic performance in which one person sits or stands behind another and speaks and sings for them, spoof.
In the link of setting [script writing speed], Yinzi directly give up this time and chose the "normal" gear.
This time, he wanted screenwriter Hu to fully give full play to normally and write an authentic sketch script.
After that, the game quickly prompted that the script was completed:
[Script name: "A Newcomer Screws Up a Performance"]
[Script features: variety show, high energy throughout, performance accident]
Yinzi said with relief this time: "Great, there are even performance accidents, this time it should be foolproof, and it will definitely be a bad movie!"
...
Looking around the list of candidate directors, Yinzi didn't find a satisfactory one, so he called screenwriter Hu to him again and said:
"Do you know any sketch directors from before?"
"Yes, but he has been unemployed at home for more than two years..."
"Isn't that just right? What I want is someone who is unemployed at home!"
Screenwriter Hu showed him the director's information:
[Director name: Li Goudan]
[Not good at shooting any TV series, performance accidents occur frequently in the crew, and has repeatedly won the Rotten Tomatoes index list]
"You're the one I want!"
After Yinzi hired Li Goudan, the time progress bar continued to move forward, and Yinzi continued to give up, blindly averaging the casting budget,
"What I want this time is mediocrity!"
Finally, the progress bar was completed, and the game prompted:
[The 10-episode hilarious episodic drama "A Newcomer Screws Up a Performance" has been filmed and will be released soon]
[Generating the most exciting climax clip of the TV series for you, please enjoy]
The audience in the live broadcast room were eager to try:
"Are we going through the process or laughing directly?"
...
The TV screen began to appear, and the first thing that appeared was a stage theater for performing sketches.
In the center of the theater, a group of sketch actors were anxiously discussing something.
The leader of the actors, Matsushita Tetsuya, who played the plainclothes policeman, said:
"Hey, hey, the sound engineer in charge of the backstage sound tuning today had a car accident. The next performance is about to start, and the audience is about to enter. What should we do?"
Yamamura Hisao, who played the wealthy businessman next to him, said: "Isn't there a temp worker sweeping the floor over there? Just use him instead."
The temp worker was dumbfounded. He looked around for a while and said, "I'm a new employee. I have no experience in stage sound engineering at all, and I have never done it before."
Matsushita Tetsuya replied: "Oh, it's too late, I can't find anyone else, just you do it.
Let me tell you, the job of a sound engineer is very simple, just play the necessary sound effects in the necessary occasions. For example, when I perform the action of opening the door, you let the stage sound play the sound of opening the door, when I perform the action of pouring wine, you let the stage play the sound of running water, understand?"
The temp worker scratched his head: "But I don't know the timing of playing the sound effects at all. It's very likely that I haven't played them yet, and you've already made the actions. Wouldn't that be out of sync?"
Yamamura Hisao thought for a while and handed the other party a script, suggesting:
"How about this! I'll give you the script of the sketch. You can just play the sound effects according to the outline of the script in the backstage. Whatever sound effects you play, we will cooperate with your sound effects to make actions, so that we can fit together perfectly.
Don't worry, we are all old actors and will definitely perfectly match your sound effect rhythm."
"Oh... that's okay too."
The temp worker took the script and went to the backstage muttering.
...
5 minutes later, amidst the cheers of the audience, the stage curtain opened, and the sketch officially began!
The sketch is called "Police and wealthy businessman: The Clash of Light and Darkness"
The set of the stage is a high-end luxury restaurant.
The speaker first sounded a creaking sound of opening the door,
Yamamura Hisao cooperated to make the action of opening the door.
The speaker then sounded the sound of onomatopoeia for the sound of footsteps footsteps, similar to the texture of leather shoes stepping on the ground,
Yamamura Hisao cooperated with the footsteps, step by step to the center of the stage, and sat down at the table.
At this time, Yamamura breathed a sigh of relief: Not bad, rookie, that's how you do sound effects!
He straightened the collar of his luxury suit and asked the assistant next to him:
"What's on the agenda today?"
The assistant respectfully replied:
"There is a shareholders' meeting today, and Mr. Matsushita Tetsuya, a criminal police officer, will visit the company later."
The最⊥新⊥小⊥说⊥在⊥六⊥9⊥⊥书⊥吧⊥⊥首⊥发(The latest ⊥novel⊥ is ⊥first ⊥published⊥ in ⊥Six⊥9⊥⊥Book⊥Bar⊥⊥)!
Yamamura frowned: "Criminal Police Matsushita? What is he here for?"
The assistant looked around for a moment and whispered in his ear:
"Criminal Police Matsushita seems to know something about some dirty deals that our company is conducting privately."
Yamamura was so angry that he slapped the table and shouted:
"What are you doing? If the police find out, everything is over, understand?"
The speaker sounded a crisp onomatopoeia for a cracking sound sound!
At the same time, Yamamura grabbed the bottle on the table and threw it on the ground.
He calmed down and loosened his tie.
"The weather is very hot today, and it makes me feel quite irritable, turn on the air conditioner."
The assistant picked up the remote control and started gesticulating at the air conditioner.
However, no matter how he gesticulated, the speaker did not sound the beep of the air conditioner.
He anxiously looked in the direction of the backstage, constantly winking.
The barrage was amused: "Hahahaha, the rookie is starting to cause trouble!"
Yamamura said impatiently to the assistant: "What are you doing? Didn't I ask you to turn on the air conditioner?"
The assistant had no choice but to temporarily change the lines of the script and said with a smile: "Boss, why don't we open the window first?"
He made a wink at Yamamura while speaking.
Yamamura also knew that the sound engineer rookie had screwed up, so he nodded.
The assistant turned around and had just opened the window halfway,
Suddenly!
The beep of the air conditioner resounded through the stage, startling everyone.
The assistant rolled back and lie prone on the table, falling face down, but he managed to get the remote control in time and gesticulated at the air conditioner.
The barrage went crazy:
"Hahahahaha! This assistant's reaction is amazing."
"I remembered the things that my old colleagues who trick me did when I was an intern, it's exactly the same, hahaha."
...
After a while, Matsushita Tetsuya took the stage:
"Hello, is Mr. Yamamura there? I am Officer Matsushita."
Yamamura Hisao cursed "What a trouble", then pretended to smile and said, "Please come in, Officer Matsushita."
After Matsushita entered the door, with a creaking sound, the stage's door opening sound effect sounded in time.
He took advantage of the situation to make an opening action.
Matsushita secretly breathed a sigh of relief. He straightened his collar and opened his mouth and said, "Hello, I said, Mr. Yamamura, long time..."
Before he could finish speaking, suddenly—
With a creaking sound, the door opening sound effect resounded throughout the stage again.
Matsushita had to do the door opening action again.
"Hello, I said, Mr. Yamamura, long time no see, I'm here today..."
With a creaking sound, the door opening sound effect sounded again.
Matsushita had to do the door opening action for the third time.
"Long time no see, I'm here today to..."
With a creaking sound, the door opening sound effect sounded again.
Matsushita had to make the door opening action for the fourth time, while glaring at the direction of the backstage sound control room.
The barrage went crazy:
"Hahaha, have you become the door god?"
"Is Your Excellency opening a revolving door?"
"Being hard-controlled by the door for 30 seconds, this is."
"Is the rookie's tuning equipment stuck?"
The sound of the door opening finally stopped,
onomatopoeia for the sound of footsteps...
The speaker began to play the sound of leather shoes stepping on the ground.
Matsushita put away his emotions, cooperated with the sound effects, walked a few steps towards the house, and then stood still.
"Yamamura-kun, long time no see, I heard..."
Da da da da da da... The sound system started again.
He had to patiently cooperate with the sound effects and continue walking forward.
After taking two steps, he returned to his seat.
"Yamamura-kun, recently..."
Before he could finish his line,
Da da da da da da...
"Damn newbie!"
Yamamura cursed inwardly twice, continuing to turn in place like a marionette for several steps before sitting down.
"Huff... The footsteps finally stopped." Matsushita cursed silently in his heart.
The audience in the live stream was amused:
"Hahahahahaha, laughing to tears!"
"What's going on? Is this ADHD?"
"I now completely believe a saying: Actors need a sense of conviction!"
Yamamura: "Since you've come, you're all guests, so naturally, we must treat you well. Assistant, bring the red wine!"
The assistant nodded and turned to get the wine bottle.
Yamamura: "Try this original French imported Bordeaux red wine, Inspector Matsushita. Even here, this wine is quite expensive."
Matsushita rubbed his hands expectantly: "Then... thanks to President Yamamura, I'll have a taste of imported wine today."
Just as the assistant turned around to pick up the wine bottle, suddenly—
A crisp sound of shattering!
The sound of the wine bottle breaking was deafening from the sound system.
To match the sound effect, the assistant had to grit his teeth and throw the wine bottle to the ground.
Matsushita and Yamamura simultaneously looked towards the backstage, dumbfounded.
This is completely not following the script! What is this newbie doing?
But there was no choice; the performance had to continue, so they could only improvise.
Matsushita glanced at Yamamura and raised his eyebrows: "What's the matter? You're not letting me taste it?"
The live stream was flooded with comments:
"Hahahahahaha! I'm dying of laughter."
"Ah, indeed, drinking is bad for your health."
The assistant had a flash of inspiration and picked up a new bottle of wine, respectfully offering it.
"Hmm, not bad."
Swish, swish, swish...
The sound effect of pouring wine came from the sound system.
Yamamura put the wine under his nose to smell it and began to pour wine for himself.
After that, Yamamura began to pour wine for Matsushita.
"Have a glass."
"Oh, okay."
Swish...
The sound of pouring wine only lasted twice before stopping completely.
To match the sound effect, Yamamura had to awkwardly stop pouring.
Matsushita Tetsuya looked at the little bit of wine at the bottom of his glass and complained:
"Looks like you're reluctant for me to drink it?"
Yamamura smiled: "How could that be? Have some more."
He winked at the backstage sound effects room, wanting to continue pouring wine for Matsushita.
Suddenly—
The stage sound system once again emitted a crisp shattering sound.
Yamamura helplessly threw the wine bottle to the ground and shouted: "Reluctant, I'm reluctant to let you drink it!"
The live stream went crazy:
"I'm dying of laughter."
"Hahaha, why are you shouting so loudly?"